One of the challenges we face when embarking on our self-discovery path is the powerful feeling of vulnerability. This feeling is part of the human condition, and learning how to understand and manage it is critical to living a civil life. This feeling can alert our brain to a potential unknown risk, which, in turn, signals our fight, flight or freeze response to engage.
Courage and the faith that a higher power will protect us help us discern whether the threat alert is real and immediate or if it is an old trigger that’s been activated to remind us of similar past experiences that we have not resolved.
Vulnerability can arise when we express opinions, speak to a large group, connect with strangers, or feel we are skating on thin ice. Our angst occurs when we realize we feel unsafe and overwhelmed. Anytime our boundaries are breached, our defense systems are alerted and come to the rescue, paralyzing our rational thinking. We muster up as much courage as we can to soldier on, realizing we are doing the best we can with the capacity we have.
Image Credit: markmanson.net/vulnerability-in-relationships
Building our capacity to cope with life’s challenges helps us deal with vulnerability healthily, even embracing it upon occasion. Spending time reflecting on our challenges allows us to incorporate self-compassion and the faith of our convictions into this work without comparisons and judgment. After all, much of what is swirling around in our minds is a story we have created to explain and justify our situation.
The eight action steps below can help us build our capacity to handle vulnerability and release its toxic grip on our lives.
Practicing self-compassion frees us from any guilt and shame we may harbor around our feelings. After all, we are human beings with similar feelings.
Establishing and maintaining friendships within our community builds strong connections, which make us feel less vulnerable.
Understanding the need for and scheduling self-care, such as exercise, nutrition, and adequate sleep, helps our bodies achieve greater capacity to cope with life’s challenges.
Ensure your home is safe and secure. Making sure your doors lock, your fire alarms are up-to-date, and your chimneys are cleaned are examples of basic household safety needs. We also must be aware of and address any emotional or mental stresses. Family dynamics can be fraught with misunderstandings and disagreements. Establishing a way to communicate our feelings within the home is essential to keeping the peace.
Examining challenging situations from different perspectives broadens our emotional resilience by allowing us to reframe them in a more positive light.
Being aware of the body-mind connection. The interconnectedness of our bodies and minds is beginning to be understood and taken seriously by the healthcare profession.
Seeking help from doctors and mental healthcare professionals when uncertainty sets in often helps us through situations beyond our abilities.
Reaching out to a higher power for guidance and asking, please help me see this challenging situation differently and give me the tools I need to get through it.
Following these steps will help us discover our purpose in life, which can have infinite manifestations. The choice is ours to make. This challenge can be frustrating and daunting, but by incorporating the steps outlined above, along with other options such as developing a practice of yoga or tai chi, we can bring much sharper focus into our lives and minimize the vulnerability that holds us back.
Fellow civility authors Jay Remer and Michael B. Benedict are co-writing a new book on enhancing civility by intersecting/sharing meditation practices, ethical behavior, and faith-based solutions. This post is the second of a series of weekly, solutions-based articles.
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Michael Benedict published his first book, The Civil Society Playbook: A Commonsense Plan for a Return to Civility, in 2024. His career spans 25+ years in senior-level marketing positions at Fortune 1000 companies, tech startups, and marketing consultancies. His book covers areas of incivility that are not frequently discussed in the media. It offers solutions - actions - that anyone, regardless of age, can implement to improve civility in all aspects of society. He can be reached at michaelbbenedict@gmail.com. The book is available on Amazon, Apple Books, and Audible.
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