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Writer's pictureMichael B. Benedict

Civility in Leadership - Examples from a Top Litigation Attorney

Few people enjoy discussing litigation. It evokes images of aggressive attorneys, lengthy depositions, and court battles. Depending on the nature of the litigation, the stakes can be very high, especially if you are a product liability attorney, where tens to hundreds of millions of dollars can be on the line, as well as precedent, depending on the outcome. It is an area of the law not for the faint of heart and requires a skilled, diligent attorney with a terrific team. I had the privilege of working with such an attorney, who, perhaps unknowingly, taught the firm’s employees the power of civility. 


An attorney collaborating with his team.


The firm I worked for is one of the world's largest and recruits top students from the best law schools. The competition for partnership is fierce. The firm's culture was that staff (all non-attorneys) were to only interact with the attorneys when asked. On the surface, it may not seem like an ideal environment for civility. 


The attorney, whom I will refer to as Tom, was a partner and had one of the firm's most impressive win/loss records. But it was his demeanor that earned him the most respect. 


Here are just a few civility traits he demonstrated:


  • Calmness: Trials can be incredibly stressful. Yet, even under intense pressure, he retained (at least outwardly) a levelness that the team, by his example, felt compelled to maintain with each other. 


  • Appreciation: Tom intuitively understood that trials put much pressure on the staff—everyone works long hours and weekends to pull the case together. He would personally thank everyone for their contributions and was always quick with a please and thank you.  


  • Solidarity: I mentioned that the staff would only interact with the attorneys if asked. Tom was one of the few attorneys who would join his staff for lunch. He would ask us how we were doing and showed genuine interest in our lives. Even at holiday parties, where attorneys and staff were invited, and most attorneys left early, Tom would stay until the end and interact with anyone. 


How we treat each other is one of the most important but least considered aspects of human interactions. While working in business development at the firm, I heard other staff talk about the attorneys. Tom was one of their favorites for the reasons cited above. He was the attorney everyone wanted to work for and was frequently asked to lead business development initiatives and be the judge in the mock trial courtroom. Conversely, given how they treated staff, everyone knew who not to work for - and avoided them if possible. 

It has been many years since I worked with Tom, yet his behavior and conduct are ever-present in my interactions with others. It is a gift he gave to anyone willing to observe and take note of. Hopefully, most of us at the firm learned accordingly. 



Fellow civility authors Jay Remer and Michael Benedict are co-writing a new book that addresses personal barriers to achieving a civil life while outlining helpful solutions anyone can implement. This post is the eighth in a series of weekly, solutions-based articles. 


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